The Right to Party to Death
In Defense of a Man Who Threw a Meth and Heavy Metal Death Party for His Wife
In 2019, a man played Quiet Riot and killed his wife with meth. He went to prison for three years for it. But there’s a strong argument to say he should never have been arrested and, in fact, should have been helped by our government and healthcare system in making it happen.
Let’s start here: Duane Johnson’s sixty-nine-year-old wife, Debra Lynn, was in a nursing home.
She went into cardiac arrest two times before, was diabetic, and on anti-psychotics. She was not terminally ill and therefore not eligible for hospice, but she was definitely in poor health. And, according to Johnson’s testimony, she wanted out. He checked her out of the nursing home and brought her home, but giving her her wish didn’t stop there.
In her final days, Duane Johnson said his wife stopped taking her medication and they rocked out to Quiet Riot and used meth for days before she passed. Headline writers had a field day. There is still an occasional social media post about this bizarre farewell. The story certainly brings up a lot of questions and topics: drugs, consent, marriage, and ethics. It is the perfect start of a conversation that starts with a morbid chuckle and ends with some eye-opening thoughts around the table. Once you get past the clickbait, judgment and jokes, and really look deep at the story of two human beings, there is a painfully common theme here: autonomy in dying.
In fact, in 2023, Ellen Gilland was arrested after shooting her terminally ill husband in a Florida hospital. She was sentenced to a year in prison. In 2024, Michael Gelleny shot his wife Brenda, 65, in the back of the head. Both alleged last wishes like with the Johnsons.
Were all these deaths final requests? We cannot say, and to be honest, it only affects the jail time of the spouse, not the aid in the request of the one who wants to die. In America, we have been watching a generation of “if that happens to me, just take me out back” parents and grandparents pass in hospitals and nursing facilities where they least want to be. And for some, it is adding an unrelenting sense of guilt to the grief. And without being able to legally die on our terms, there is fear of what lies ahead for us when our time comes and we “want out.”
Let’s look at the map of medically-assisted death in America. As of 2025, only 10 states and Washington, D.C. allow some form of physician-assisted dying — typically limited to terminally ill adults expected to die within six months, and often requiring a parade of paperwork, evaluations, and waiting periods.
And yet, look at Switzerland. Legal since 1941, Switzerland was the first country to permit assisted dying. If the motive is not selfish nor related to financial gain, it’s allowed. Assisted suicide for people who are terminally ill is also legal in many countries including Australia, Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and Spain.
But America? We’re still clutching our pearls at the thought of a quiet, physician-assisted end with loved ones, let alone a last hurrah of hedonism. Even as Boomers age into their death era and Gen Z creates dance trends with a family member’s urn, our laws remain stuck in a Puritanical and not-so-coincidental profitable denial of our rights where dying in pain is legal, but dying on your own terms is not.
That’s where Duane Johnson and many others in today’s headlines have found themselves: at the crossroads of love and legality. Did he break the law? Sure. But did he commit murder? According to the police report, she asked. He didn’t coerce. He didn’t deceive. And he gave her the only thing he had left to give — freedom, music, and meth.
Let’s be clear. This is not an endorsement of meth as part of one’s advance directive nor a chaos approach to being a good spouse, deciphering a wife’s last wishes through a haze of illness and one’s own demons. However, the dilemma of grieving a loved one before they are gone is much too common to ignore. And that is because many people do outlive their desire to be on this planet. Spouses and children – chosen caregivers – are too often presented with a moment where an ill loved one is ready to go, but not legally on their deathbed. And dementia related illnesses are even more heartbreaking as consent is not possible in a damaged brain.
Duane Johnson, Ellen Gilland, Michael Gelleny and many other Americans have given up their freedom for the freedom of their spouse to die on their terms. This is not a decision any human wants to do alone and yet they are.
Right now, there are advocates fighting to keep the current states and DC allowing medical aid in dying. They were fighting to add more states, but it is an uphill battle because of Project 2025, which calls physician-assisted suicide “a grave mistake.” Project 2025 and its lobbyists have already tried to turn back the laws in Montana with SB 136 which would criminalize medical aid in dying.
We need a national conversation about death — not just how we deal with it personally, but how our governments control how we move through our final days. Even with the gift of hospice in America and the amazing men and women who help people pass as empowered as legally possible, America leans into legalizing suffering for profit and criminalize compassion from those carrying the weight of this healthcare system – the family caregivers.
We must create policies that allow for dignity, nuance, and even messiness — because the end of a life should not be judged by its soundtrack or substances, but by the agency of the person living it. If we truly value freedom, that must include the freedom to say goodbye on our own terms.
